School Days

Some jokes

Vivek Vorani — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:40:10 +0000

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the
room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and
decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the
teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what
a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar
bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for
it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to
go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized
they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said
he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the
sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a
month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh,
come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the
little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,
"If you do, I won't go!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

Funny One Liners...

Vivek Vorani — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:38:19 +0000

1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.

The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.. there's a knob called brightness,
but it doesn't work.

11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left! .

14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.

15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected ?

An inspirational story

Vivek Vorani — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:00:28 +0000

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the
ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots
had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always
delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the House, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was
ashamed of it's own imperfection. And miserable that it was
able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed
of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to
deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes
water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my
flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full
value from your efforts," the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were
flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's
side? That's because I have always known about your flaw. So I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day
while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this
beauty to grace the house?

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked
pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our
lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got
to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in
them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out
of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life.

School Days

Vivek Vorani — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:58:35 +0000

A gr8 ashtray for ppl trying to stop SMOKING..

Vivek Vorani — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:46:00 +0000

A great ashtray

for people trying to stop smoking!

Welcome to my Blog--School Days

Vivek Vorani — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 10:06:00 +0000

Hi every1,
How are u all..??

This is my first Blog. Hope You'll like it..

Every1 cann post on this blog and share your ideas about anything...

Ok......So start posting...

Regards,
Vivek.