Some jokes
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the
room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and
decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the
teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what
a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar
bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for
it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to
go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized
they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said
he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the
sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a
month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh,
come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the
little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,
"If you do, I won't go!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
Funny One Liners...
1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
3. If I save time, when do I get it back?
4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.
9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.. there's a knob called brightness,
but it doesn't work.
11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left! .
14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected ?
A gr8 ashtray for ppl trying to stop SMOKING..
A great ashtray
for people trying to stop smoking!